We’re a very small and (often) overstretched business – we really don’t have the time or energy to do anything immoral with your data. It’s not that we’re not evil – we’re probably as corruptible as anyone – we’re just too tired to think up a wicked plot to steal your identity.
We collect and store the info we need to provide you with the service you buy from us. We may occasionally stalk you via Facebook or Instagram. That’s as bad as it gets.
DATA WE COLLECT
When you visit the Site, we automatically collect certain information about your device, including information about your web browser, IP address, time zone, and some of the cookies that are installed on your device. Additionally, as you browse the Site, we collect information about the individual web pages or products that you view, what websites or search terms referred you to the Site, and information about how you interact with the Site. We refer to this automatically-collected information as “Device Information.”
We collect Device Information using the following technologies:
- “Cookies”- these are delicious treats that are a sort of mixture between a biscuit and a cake, and they often have yummy chocolate chips in them. Oh wait, hang on, that’s the other type of cookie. The type we use are WAY more boring. The cookies we use are data files that are placed on your device or computer and often include an anonymous unique identifier. For more information about cookies, (including how to disable them), visit http://www.allaboutcookies.org.
- “Log files” track actions occurring on the Site, and collect data including your IP address, browser type, Internet service provider, referring/exit pages, and date/time stamps.
- “Web beacons,” “tags,” and “pixels” are electronic files used to record information about how you browse the Site.
Additionally, when you make a purchase or attempt to make a purchase through the Site, we collect certain information from you, including your name, billing address, shipping address, email address, and phone number. We refer to this information as “Order Information.” Let’s face it, without most of this information we would find it pretty hard to get your order delivered to you.
HOW DO WE USE YOUR PERSONAL INFORMATION?
We use the Order Information that we collect generally to fulfill any orders placed through the Site (including arranging for shipping, and providing you with invoices and/or order confirmations). Additionally, we use this Order Information to communicate with you from time to time; screen our orders for potential risk or fraud – we sometimes need to make sure you are who you say you are. Finally, if you purchase products from us, we will assume that you may want to hear from us occasionally regarding special offers, so we may send you the occasional email advert to let you know about promotions or new products we have available.
We use the Device Information that we collect to help us screen for potential risk and fraud (in particular, your IP address), and more generally to improve and optimize our Site (for example, by generating analytics about how our customers browse and interact with the Site, and to assess the success of our marketing and advertising campaigns).
OK, hands up, we’re following you. We use Google Analytics, primarily to stare at the real time stats because they’re pretty cool but also to see what stuff people are looking at so we can design more of the stuff you like.
We don’t have it yet, but we are thinking of using the Facebook Pixel tool so that we can sell you stuff. Yes, you heard it right. We are a business and – huge shocker – we want you to spend money with us. The Facebook Pixel means that we can see how people interact with our site and with Facebook adverts and then we try to flog you relevant stuff. If you’ve not seen the Facebook Ads analytics dashboard, then WOW, that is stalker central. If you’ve managed to dodge creating a Facebook account so far – yay for you and bloody well done (but the pixel is probably tracking you anyway).
None of these tools store any super personal data about you but they probably grab your IP address (not that we’d know where to look for it or what to do with it). All we see is that a person or many people have interacted with the website in a particular way. You can mess with us by doing something totally unexpected on the website and skewing our stats. Or you could do something way more fun and useful with your time, like drinking gin.
DO NOT TRACK
Please note that we do not alter our Site’s data collection practices when we see a Do Not Track signal from your browser.
SHARING YOUR PERSONAL INFORMATION
We may share your Personal Information with third parties to help us use your Personal Information, as described above. For example, we use Woo Commerce to power our online store – you can read more about how Woo Commerce uses your Personal Information here: https://www.woocommerce.com/legal/privacy. We also use Google Analytics to help us understand how our customers use the Site – you can read more about how Google uses your Personal Information here: https://www.google.com/intl/en/policies/privacy/. You can also opt-out of Google Analytics here: https://tools.google.com/dlpage/gaoptout.
Finally, we may also share your Personal Information to comply with applicable laws and regulations, to respond to a subpoena, search warrant or other lawful request for information we receive, or to otherwise protect our rights.
As described above, we may use your Personal Information to provide you with targeted advertisements or marketing communications we believe may be of interest to you. For more information about how targeted advertising works, you can visit the Network Advertising Initiative’s (“NAI”) educational page at http://www.networkadvertising.org/understanding-online-advertising/how-does-it-work.
You can opt out of targeted advertising by:
FACEBOOK – https://www.facebook.com/settings/?tab=ads
GOOGLE – https://www.google.com/settings/ads/anonymous
BING – https://advertise.bingads.microsoft.com/en-us/resources/policies/personalized-ads
Additionally, you can opt out of some of these services by visiting the Digital Advertising Alliance’s opt-out portal at: http://optout.aboutads.info/.
It’s all about the data, baby. There is a literal shit-tonne of terrabytes whirring around above our heads. What’s it all for? What does it do? WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN? What will future historians actually see of us and our slowly collapsing society of teenagers glued to their mobile devices? Everybody loves the data, so we got on the data band-wagon. We squirrell away some of your data in a few different places and use it in a couple of different ways.
Here on this website! If you register with our site we will store your name and email address. If you buy stuff from us we will store your name, email address, postal address, phone number if you give it to us, and order history. We don’t take payment through the site, so payment details ARE NOT held on the site. (If we did we would obviously go to the maximum effort to keep this data secure, but we don’t, so we won’t).
We’ll be honest: we do absolutely nothing surprising or radical with your info. We may use your purchase history to target you with ads for stuff you might like, or to occasionally send you promotion codes to try and save you some dosh. For example, if you buy greetings cards form us, we’ll occasionally send you a discount code to encourage you to buy more greetings cards. This is standard business marketing – it’s fairly obvious isn’t it?
Mailchimp! If you’ve signed up for anything or bought anything on our site –your name and email address also wings its way over to Mailchimp, which is the system we use to manage our newsletters and emails. They are (allegedly) GDPR compliant. You can unsubscribe from emails at any time by hitting the unsubscribe button. If you don’t want to hear from us anymore, we’ll be super sad to lose you form our mailing list, but its totally your choice and you can say goodbye at any point. our name and email address are stored securely in Mailchimp.
EMAILS AND MARKETING
If you sign up to our newsletter, we will send you a newsletter – generally around one a month, but occasionally more if there is more interesting stuff to tell you. You can unsubscribe at any time by clicking the unsubscribe button in every email.
Mailchimp is pretty snazzy; it automatically adds techy tracking tools to links so if you click on a link WE KNOW. If you open an email WE KNOW. If you ignore us WE KNOW.
The most important thing about this is we have neither the time nor inclination to actually look at or do anything with these stats.
If you are a European resident, you have the right to access personal information we hold about you and to ask that your personal information be corrected, updated, or deleted. If you would like to exercise this right, please contact us through the contact information below.
Additionally, if you are a European resident note that we are processing your information in order to fulfill contracts we might have with you (for example if you make an order through the Site), or otherwise to pursue our legitimate business interests listed above. Additionally, please note that your information may be transferred outside of Europe, including to Canada and the United States.
YOUR RIGHT TO BE DELETED
OK, your choice. Bugger off then. Be like that. If you want to go undercover, just whizz us an email firstname.lastname@example.org and we’ll delete all the info we have on you from our systems while having a passive aggressive huff about what we could have possibly done wrong. We’ll try not to take it personally – we may sulk for a little while but we will get over it.
We cannot delete your purchase history from our accounting system because the taxman will be terribly upset and may try to think we are doing something underhand.
Just so you know, though, you won’t be able to access our trade store anymore. So there.
SOCIAL MEDIA AND ALL THAT CRAP
We use social media a lot, partly to promote our products but mostly as a vehicle to stalk other people that we think are more interesting than us. If you talk to us via Instagram or Facebook and we become familiar with you, we might find you on Twitter and say hello. You can ask us to be less friendly if you wish and we will of course respect your boundaries.
You are not required to follow our social media accounts, though of course it would be lovely if you did.
When you place an order through the Site, we will maintain your Order Information for our records unless and until you ask us to delete this information.
The Site is not intended for individuals under the age of 16. It’s highly unlikely that you will find any rude images on our site, but we do have a couple of cards with the occasional expletive.
WANT TO KNOW MORE?
Hopefully all of this blurb has answered any questions you may have. If you are still awake and do have anything else you need to know, or if you would like to make a complaint, please contact us by e-mail at: